Confession No. 1 (Closure)
So, the week is over tomorrow and I thought I would document how I have done. In my estimation, I have been a very good girl, but not perfect, unfortunately. Cut me some slack though, he took away everything.
1. No new panties until I'm told. No clean panties for a week.
I was very good about this until he added the extra rule about having to wear my panties until 10PM. I thought about cheating, but I didn't. I wore dirty panties -- a new pair each day -- but as soon as I got home from work I would have a bath and then wear no panties cause it feels ick, even if it's only psychological. For the last two days, I have been allowed freshies and I can't tell you how much I missed my freshies. I think I take my freshies for granted. I hated this punishment.
2. I am allowed to wee only two times in a day. After that I have to ask for permission. If I don't get a response, I don't get to go.
I did pretty well with this one. He allowed me to go when I asked, pretty consistently. However, the afternoon that he was angry with how our phone conversation went, he wouldn't let me go. I had to sit on the couch, staring at the clock and counting from 4:53 to 5:53. I pestered him with texts during that time, but I got no response. At exactly 5:53, I texted and I told him that I was going. I went, and then got his text about having to wait another half an hour. Thank God it was too late. I had to go so badly.
Yesterday, I was allowed five times, but I am sure I went more like eight or nine. I wasn't such a good girl yesterday, but it's harder not to pee when you're at your own house all day and have nothing to distract you. Already it's early in the morning and I have been twice. Same rules apply for today, but it's not looking good.
3. I must drink at least two liters of water a day.
Until yesterday, I was very good at this. I got lazy with everything yesterday. It's something about fighting with him, weekends, and the end of the rules week. Things started slipping. But I had been buying 1.5 liter bottles and finishing them every day with the addition of a couple other glasses. My skin looks better and I sort of felt good at the end of the day with this rule. If I wasn't trying not to pee, I would have been alright with this rule.
4. I am not allowed any other beverages.
Again, good until yesterday. I slipped twice before, but out of necessity rather than forgetting or disobedience. Once, at a restaurant when oddly enough, there was no water available, and once on Friday night cause I got home from the bar and there was no water here and the vending machine downstairs was broken. I really wanted water, but I didn't have any. However, I did drink the tapwater. And that's a desperate move, if you knew where I live.
On a positive note, there were three times that I got other beverages, but then remembered and had to go dump them out. That was humiliating because there were people all over just staring at me and trying to figure out why I would fill up a delicious cup of Coke with lots of ice, lovely condensation forming invitingly on the outside of the glass, and then dump it out and fill it up with water. I just looked shame-facedly at the ground and went to my table. E made fun of me and gave me weird looks though; she's so fucking supportive! Hiss.
5. I am only allowed lukewarm showers.
I was amazingly good at this rule even though IT SUCKS so much. Johnny allowed me to have thirty seconds of hot water at the end, and I count them out loud so that I don't forget. Sometimes I slow down a little on the last eight seconds, but I was so good about this rule. I did have a really hot bath yesterday, but that doesn't count. He was specific to showers.
6. No chocolate of any kind for a week.
Also, amazing about this rule. I missed chocolate so much. I only had the one cupcake he let me have earlier this week. Granted, I found other desserts, but I missed chocolate so much. Please don't make this permanent, Johnny! I can't live without my chocolate. It releases my happy hormones! When he let me have my four pieces last night, I was so in love. With Johnny too. Grin.
7. I am to purchase Hostess chocolate cupcakes every morning and carry them around, and when I get home, take them out, smell them and throw them in the trash.
The inconvenience of this rule (I'm late to work frequently) made this sketchy for me. I did it three times. Johnny let me eat one of the first cupcakes, but my last package is still sitting uneaten in my fridge. I only threw out -- okay, I only did this twice. I can't throw away cupcakes!! You don't understand! I will not eat them, but throw them away?? It's sacriledge! Hmph.
8. I am only allowed two hours of television per night.
Also, so very good about this one. The only way I can imagine I cheated at all on this is because there were times when I was in the room and the TV was on, but I wasn't watching it. I was only listening. But, I live with someone else, so that can't be helped. I have been TV deprived all week long. But I have been such a good girl.
Please, Sir. No more of these rules. I'll be good. I tried so hard to make up for what I have done by being really, very good if you look at the big picture. I've learned my lessons, I swear.
1. No new panties until I'm told. No clean panties for a week.
I was very good about this until he added the extra rule about having to wear my panties until 10PM. I thought about cheating, but I didn't. I wore dirty panties -- a new pair each day -- but as soon as I got home from work I would have a bath and then wear no panties cause it feels ick, even if it's only psychological. For the last two days, I have been allowed freshies and I can't tell you how much I missed my freshies. I think I take my freshies for granted. I hated this punishment.
2. I am allowed to wee only two times in a day. After that I have to ask for permission. If I don't get a response, I don't get to go.
I did pretty well with this one. He allowed me to go when I asked, pretty consistently. However, the afternoon that he was angry with how our phone conversation went, he wouldn't let me go. I had to sit on the couch, staring at the clock and counting from 4:53 to 5:53. I pestered him with texts during that time, but I got no response. At exactly 5:53, I texted and I told him that I was going. I went, and then got his text about having to wait another half an hour. Thank God it was too late. I had to go so badly.
Yesterday, I was allowed five times, but I am sure I went more like eight or nine. I wasn't such a good girl yesterday, but it's harder not to pee when you're at your own house all day and have nothing to distract you. Already it's early in the morning and I have been twice. Same rules apply for today, but it's not looking good.
3. I must drink at least two liters of water a day.
Until yesterday, I was very good at this. I got lazy with everything yesterday. It's something about fighting with him, weekends, and the end of the rules week. Things started slipping. But I had been buying 1.5 liter bottles and finishing them every day with the addition of a couple other glasses. My skin looks better and I sort of felt good at the end of the day with this rule. If I wasn't trying not to pee, I would have been alright with this rule.
4. I am not allowed any other beverages.
Again, good until yesterday. I slipped twice before, but out of necessity rather than forgetting or disobedience. Once, at a restaurant when oddly enough, there was no water available, and once on Friday night cause I got home from the bar and there was no water here and the vending machine downstairs was broken. I really wanted water, but I didn't have any. However, I did drink the tapwater. And that's a desperate move, if you knew where I live.
On a positive note, there were three times that I got other beverages, but then remembered and had to go dump them out. That was humiliating because there were people all over just staring at me and trying to figure out why I would fill up a delicious cup of Coke with lots of ice, lovely condensation forming invitingly on the outside of the glass, and then dump it out and fill it up with water. I just looked shame-facedly at the ground and went to my table. E made fun of me and gave me weird looks though; she's so fucking supportive! Hiss.
5. I am only allowed lukewarm showers.
I was amazingly good at this rule even though IT SUCKS so much. Johnny allowed me to have thirty seconds of hot water at the end, and I count them out loud so that I don't forget. Sometimes I slow down a little on the last eight seconds, but I was so good about this rule. I did have a really hot bath yesterday, but that doesn't count. He was specific to showers.
6. No chocolate of any kind for a week.
Also, amazing about this rule. I missed chocolate so much. I only had the one cupcake he let me have earlier this week. Granted, I found other desserts, but I missed chocolate so much. Please don't make this permanent, Johnny! I can't live without my chocolate. It releases my happy hormones! When he let me have my four pieces last night, I was so in love. With Johnny too. Grin.
7. I am to purchase Hostess chocolate cupcakes every morning and carry them around, and when I get home, take them out, smell them and throw them in the trash.
The inconvenience of this rule (I'm late to work frequently) made this sketchy for me. I did it three times. Johnny let me eat one of the first cupcakes, but my last package is still sitting uneaten in my fridge. I only threw out -- okay, I only did this twice. I can't throw away cupcakes!! You don't understand! I will not eat them, but throw them away?? It's sacriledge! Hmph.
8. I am only allowed two hours of television per night.
Also, so very good about this one. The only way I can imagine I cheated at all on this is because there were times when I was in the room and the TV was on, but I wasn't watching it. I was only listening. But, I live with someone else, so that can't be helped. I have been TV deprived all week long. But I have been such a good girl.
Please, Sir. No more of these rules. I'll be good. I tried so hard to make up for what I have done by being really, very good if you look at the big picture. I've learned my lessons, I swear.
posted by macaroon at 9:49 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home